31 May
Colors for my next dress!
I’m really excited about this dress, I did want it to be a maxi dress, but I only bought one yard of fabric, because I’m trying to be frugal here, so a short dress it shall be.
I love the colors! I hope I don’t screw it up! I plan on wearing it to my friend Ashley’s wedding on the 9th. Marcia is my hot date for the evening so I must look my best.
Finished!
Add sexy black heels and bring on the wedding!
29 May
The time for my annual summer vacation looms near. I use loom because this year it isn’t feeling like a vacation at all. In fact, in conversation I refer to it as “vacation”, air quotes a must. There’s just so much going on now and even more when I’m there. The stress is building and there’s only a dam, no release in sight. My head is full of work stress, relationship stress, friendship stress, family stress, and me stress! They are becoming blurred. It’s like they’re interbreeding, creating new hybrid stresses for me to consume, or to consume me. Food usually helps, and still does, when I have an appetite for it. Books have lost their escape qualities and movies are only temporary. There is no long term solace or solution to be seen in my harbor of stress and worry. I don’t mean to whine or bitch, I’m dealing, I know many more people have it ten times worse than this. I just fear I’m nearing my breaking point. I don’t know what that will be or what will come if I do break. It’s uncertain and it’s life. I guess I should just live it up.
24 May
Today is a ME day, I’m staying in my pajamas and doing as little as I want and as much as I want, when I want to or don’t want to.
I have read for a bit, talked for a bit, I’m brewing iced tea and getting ready to paint my nails and eat Godiva chocolate cheesecake for lunch.
I would like to read some more, maybe nap, stretch in the sun a bit more, and just veg out.
This is very much needed and appreciated.
THANKS! To my Sweetness, Marcia, for the lovely Muppet video! Made my Me Day! You’re the best!
My nap was a success! I also got to be outside a bit more while I read some more. I watched a few episodes of Angel and then watched “My Week With Marilyn”.
It’s been a tremendous ME day! Thanks to everyone that helped make that possible.
23 May
To be understood
To be admired
To be fawned over
To be cared for
To be wanted
To be listened to
To be needed
To be a reference
To be motivation
To be support
To be kindling
To be the fire
To be a confidant
To be a friend
To be a lover
To be devoured
To be pined for
To be pampered
To be loved
To be the one
20 May
Doing what’s best. Maybe not the easiest. Maybe not the hardest path either. Not necessarily what you want, but need. What’s right. It’s all so multidimensional. Layered. Living in the moment, that’s what needs to be done. How can we plan for the future, if we’re in the moment? We must have a plan. I would like to have a plan. I have rough ideas, hopes and aspirations. Plans? Goals? No. Not me. Maybe I’ll get there, in this moment. Nah. Getting out of my head to even acknowledge the moment is something. I’m young. How is it that trying to figure out what you want is the hard part? Maybe it isn’t. Maybe we figure that out so quickly we don’t realize, and it’s the how do I get that, or how will that effect everyone and everything else that stumps us. That, I think is my problem. Since everything is so interconnected, no one want or decision is ever simple. The track that I’ve started to set up for myself is what’s best for me. It’s not going to be easy or simple, but it’s what is needed. My focus must shift, and my ambitions must be met. It’s time. Now I’m not saying if the universe wants to throw something in the mix that I’m not expecting or focusing on that I’ll ignore it and move past on my path. Not at all. I’m hoping the idea that when you stop looking for something, it finds you actually happens. It would make some of my life easier. Not that, that part of my life will ever be easy. My fault probably. But still, easy, simple, who wants that? Happiness. That’s what I want. I’m easy to please, so this shouldn’t be too difficult. Let’s do it!
17 May
I’ve never had a problem with alcohol. I’ve always had a problem with my mind being crazy and on it’s own agenda. And I’ve never had a problem with them both, nothing that I couldn’t handle. Until last night. So now since my mind is a minefield of emotions, outbursts, and confusion I’m refraining from alcohol induced states. A single drink here or there is fine, especially if it is to help me sleep, but no more mixed drinks followed by champagne, followed by three consecutive shots of whiskey, followed by too many swisher sweets. I’d really prefer to keep what sanity I have and work through my mind minefield first. Thanks universe for giving me a heads up before I could do any real damage 🙂
16 May
Right, so I’m super pumped for today because it’s Girl’s Day! That’s right, manicures and pedicures first to help further celebrate a friend’s graduation, then onto food, drinks, movies, and tv! It’s a little geeky for girls but whatevs, it’s going to be AMAZING!
First though, a bath for Max.
14 May
I can’t even tell you how many times I have listened to Hey Jude by The Beatles. But it wasn’t until last night, driving home after having a beer with some amazingly awesome people did I actually hear it. Talk about a life changing moment! Brilliant.
12 May
Morning. Conversations. Thoughts. Confusion. Emotions. Decisions. Worry. Scared. Unknown. Drama. Happiness. Smile. Blush. Guilt. Wants. Needs. Desires. Truth. Honesty. Passion. Coffee. Clothes. Flirt. Confiding. Friend. Lost. Alive. Unashamed. Sad. Unsure. Idiot. Beer. Secrets. Excitement. Peace. Sleep. Eager. Damaged. Healing. Ready. Frightened. Upset. Loved. Care. Talk. Acknowledge. Attention. Relationship. Stagnant. Dedication. Loyalty. Moral. Love. Hope. Please. Help. Thanks. Work. Play. Write. Read. Learn. Value. Interests. Building. Budding. Losing. Winning. Mediocre. Inadequate. Lacking. Emotional. Intimidated. Similarities. Flattery. New. Swim. Yoga. Water. Tea. Food. Appetite. Change. Next. World. Family. Where. Why. How. Time. Leaving. Returning. Achievement. Step. Big. Looming. Money. Life.
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