I didn’t feel welcomed. Not by you, you made me feel comfortable. I always feel wanted and at peace with you. It was the place, it didn’t want me there. It’s like it was torn. Half of it accepted me, it welcomed me- your half. The other half pushed at me, shunned me- her half.
Sitting by you was fine, I didn’t feel as if I were intruding. The place stole my voice, it scared it into submission. I could only watch and listen, and get lost in the passion of your eyes as you spoke. I didn’t dare break away for fear of the place casting me out, throwing me away like trash. You were my anchor. You wanted me there, you wanted more. I wanted more, but was too uncomfortable to try, the place was watching.
More time could have been better, I might have found strength to push back against the place, make a stand, take what I wanted. Or it could have been worse, it could have beaten me down, it might have beaten you down to see me as it did, an outsider.
You and me. That’s what I want. No judgement, no worries, no oppressive thoughts, no second guessing, no unwelcome feelings, and no lies. In their place it would be passion, excitement, affection, connection, love, happiness, laughter, understanding, acceptance, and peace.
That place shall not beat us.
dailyhb 