What I’m reading;
A Discovery of Witches – Deborah Harkness
Side Jobs – Jim Butcher
Thoughts;
I have an issue with the portrayal of relationships when there is a controlling male and submissive female, that as the audience we are meant to accept, root for, and follow suit. This really bothers me. I understand that what I’m reading is fantasy and that the character of a vampire is to be charming, seductive, powerful, and controlling it’s what makes them scary and fascinating and let’s face it, sexy (most of the time). The thing is, in most of these stories there is a strong willed, powerful, independent woman who drastically changes character and becomes a submissive, meek, quivering girl. What kind of message does that send to the reader? To impressionable readers. That a controlling relationship is acceptable and should be sought after? That being strong willed, powerful, and independent leaves you alone? The only way to happiness is to submit to a charismatic powerful male? Really?! Bullshit. I’m sorry but seriously?! I don’t give blame to Butcher when it comes to these points. His portrayal of vampires and mixed relationships never condone the uneven power, and he constantly reminds the readers just how bad, evil, and untrustworthy the villains are in his stories.
What I’ve been doing;
This past week I’ve been working, mostly in the cafe where I haven’t worked this much consecutively since last October. It’s been different. I’ve liked not really having to worry about what to wear and how nice I look. Which is kind of sad but let’s face it, all over black clothes and drinks spilled all over you while you sweat constantly due to ovens, espresso machines, and crazy spot light like lighting, isn’t very glamorous. It’s also been nice to work with friends I hardly ever get to, and to see regular customers that I miss seeing. Other than that work is just work.
What’s been on my mind;
Change. Stagnant. I feel coiled, as if I’m ready to pounce. My emotions have been having a virtual field day with me lately. Drawing up wells of bitter scorn, swallowing sadness, hulk like rage, and utter confusion. I’ve lost my temper on good people and friends, I’ve idly brooded over paranoid suspicions, and I’ve been non-existent mentally. I’m coming out of it though. Yesterday I wasn’t a emotional zombie. I’ve got some more work to do in my mind but I’ll be fine. Mainly I just need to re-learn patience. I can’t want something to happen and just expect it to follow suit because of my wants. Instant gratification, not for me. I need to work on getting my finances, goals, and life together. Figuring out how to get what I want should start taking up most of my mental and physical time. Right now books and favorite movies have been hogging those two because I needed easy escapes from my emotional war. Now that I’m getting control over that I can start rationing out more time else where.
dailyhb 